The Flower We Saw That Day
by diellemabelle
Summary: Five years have passed since Caius was defeated and chaos flooded the timeline. Devastated by what occurred that day, Noel shut himself away, unable to move on. Now he's started seeing someone that he'd tried to bury in the past. "Why now? Why has she come back?" Read and review!
1. The girl from my dreams

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. **_

* * *

**We still don't know the name of the flower we saw that day.**

**Chapter 1: The girl from my dreams**

"Noel!"

The brunette lay on his bed with his arm across his eyes. Lethargy slowed his every movement. The incessant voice in his ear wouldn't force him to move his arm and face the bright artificial sunlight that sliced across his bed.

"Go away," he muttered quietly.

"Noel! Noel! Noel!" the voice continued, as he felt himself being nudged in the ribs.

Noel rolled over to face the window. The sun effect on the glass was dimmed by his proximity and he could almost see the dark gloom that overcast the sky.

On the street below, a couple walking by was having an animated conversation about the Academy. As one complained to the other that the Academy wasn't _doing_ anything about the chaos, Noel felt indignation rising up like bile. Over the past five years, the Academy had unofficially disbanded. Though people like these two liked to complain, they weren't doing a damn thing to help. Yet they expected the Academy to solve all of the world's problems.

He clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes in disgust. "Die, parasites," he whispered threateningly into his pillow.

"Parasite? What does that mean, Noel?" the voice asked innocently.

Sighing, he sat up in bed and looked over to the source of the voice. _The beast of my dreams. She has come to haunt me. _Kneeling by his mattress was a pink-haired woman wearing a white and pink one-piece dress. Her hair was pulled to the side in a ponytail and a pendant necklace hung around her neck. Every detail was preserved. It was frustrating enough that he heard her voice, but did she have to look so perfectly real?

"It means I'm hungry," he said, getting out of bed.

"Oooh, can you make me a Cactuaroni sandwich?" Serah pleaded, her blue eyes widening in excitement.

Ignoring her, Noel made his way downstairs to the kitchen that he shared with Hope. He padded barefoot across the carpet of the living room, where his friend was watching tv.

"You're up," the older man observed with surprise.

"Just thought I'd get something to eat. Want anything?" Noel asked out of courtesy.

"What are you making yourself?"

Suddenly, bounding footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. Noel instinctively shot a glance in that direction.

"Cactuaroni! Cactuaroni sandwich-oni!" Serah sang happily as jumped down the last two steps. Then she looked around. "Oh, hi Hope!"

Hope followed Noel's gaze, and then looked back to the distracted brunette. "Uh, Noel?"

Noel shook his head lightly, "Yeah, what did you ask, again?"

"What are you making yourself to eat?"

Again, Noel's midnight blue eyes shifted over to Serah, standing a foot away from him in the living room, smiling shyly. When he realized he had done this, he snapped his head back around to Hope and replied, "Uh, sandwiches."

"I'll have one, too, if it's not too much trouble."

"Sure," Noel said, and hastily retreated through the room into the kitchen.

Alone in the room once more, Hope tilted his head as if puzzling over Noel's odd behavior before turning his attention back to his show.

In the kitchen, Noel sifted through the fridge. His hand pushed the left-over flan pudding and some uncooked souvlaki out of the way to find the Cactuaroni sausages. He also grabbed some mayonnaise, lettuce and hot flabanero sauce.

"No hot sauce on mine!" Serah demanded.

Upon assembling two moderately appealing sandwiches, Noel doused both with hot sauce.

The woman tried to grab the hand holding the hot sauce, but he turned away, pulling it out of her reach. "Nooo, you're ruining it!" she lamented.

Leaving the ingredients on the counter, Noel placed the sandwiches on two separate plates and brought them into the living room. As he handed one to Hope, the silver-haired man lifted the top slice of bread, investigating. "Oh excellent, you added extra hot sauce!"

Noel sank into the couch beside him. "Hm," he grunted in affirmation.

"I'm watching the most interesting program about bees…" Hope was saying as Serah popped her head around the door-frame from the kitchen.

"What about my sandwich?" she asked loudly. Then she strode in front of the tv and sat down in Noel's lap. "Fine, I'll just eat yours!"

His friend was going on about bees and pointing at the tv. Noel attempted to pay attention while trying to protect his sandwich from Serah's grasping fingers. He lifted his plate above his head, and tried to peer around Serah's body to see the screen. The tv buzzed continually. She reached for the sandwich above her and her ample chest was shoved in his face as a result. Getting annoyed after a few minutes of struggle, he shouted at her, "you don't even like hot sauce, remember?"

Hope stopped his explanation about the queen bee mid-sentence and whipped his head around to Noel, who sheepishly lowered his plate back down to his lap.

At the same time, Serah nodded, "Oh, right!" Then she lifted herself off the couch, suddenly exposing a glimpse of her white panties. _Hot. It was too hot in this room._ Noel's eye rolled backwards as he fainted.

"Noel? Noel!" Hope placed both sandwiches on the coffee table and touched a hand to his friend's flushed cheeks. "Fainted, huh?"

* * *

When he came to, there was an ice pack on his forehead and a note on the table:

_Went to buy you some vitamins. Drink lots of water. –H_

Reluctantly, Noel got up and put the dishes in the dishwasher and put the sandwich ingredients away. He poured himself a glass of water and trudged back up the stairs to his room. Through the open door of his room, he saw her lying peacefully on his bed. The moonlight shone in her hair like a shimmering halo.

_My stress… _he thought unhappily. _It has accumulated and now manifests in a human form. But why does it have to be her? And why won't she go away? ... Is it my desire to tell her 'that'? Could I have conjured her because I need to apologize? Am I going insane?_

Just then, she snuggled the blankets closer to her body. The act softened Noel's attitude and brought a small smile to his face. _Even if she is just a hallucination, I'll take it. _He laid down on the couch adjacent to the bed. The girl in his bed slid an eyelid open at the sound of his movements.

"Noel?" she inquired in a sleepy voice.

"Don't worry, I'll be right here," he replied in a whisper. "Go back to sleep."

She smiled and closed her eyes.

_Even if she is my imagination…_ he thought as his mind slowed and his body relaxed. _Even if I'm the only one that sees her…_ his eyelids drooped and closed as he drifted off to sleep. _I'm glad she's with me again._

* * *

**_Author's Note: _**This is a crossover fic with AnoHana: The Flower We Saw That Day. The reason I post it in FF13-2 section is because AnoHana fans would not enjoy it (because the characters from that show will not be mentioned), and very few FF13-2 fans would find this story in the crossover section! I realize that the first chapter reads almost identical to the beginning of the anime - for that I say "I DO NOT OWN THIS" - But the later chapters will carry the same plot but with completely different/ mostly different scenes and dialogue. **  
**


	2. A wish

**Chapter 2: A wish**

The soft impact of a shirt hitting his face caused Noel to open one eye hesitantly. The automated light effect of his window pane told him it was early morning. His back was stiff. As feeling came back into his limbs and the cobwebs of sleep were cleared from his mind, he remembered that he'd fallen asleep on the couch. The reason for his poor choice in sleeping arrangements was now rummaging through his dresser drawers, throwing things haphazardly.

"Oh, where is it?" she worried.

"Where is what?" Noel asked in annoyance. Against the protests of his limbs, he got up and began to gather his clothes that had been scattered across the room.

"Your battle attire!" Serah responded, turning around to face him with a smile. "You never know what monsters we may run into out there."

"Out where? What are you talking about?"

"You're going to take me out for a walk! I want to see Bhunivelze!"

He'd been picking up a sock, but her words stopped him mid-motion. His hair hung over his eyes as he responded flatly, "I'm not going out there."

Serah pouted and crossed her arms in front of her. "It's boring here. C'mon! Pleeease?"

"Is that why you came back? To nag me?"

Serah flinched at the statement as if it hurt. Instantly, Noel felt horrible for saying it. But before he could take it back, she furrowed her brows in concerned concentration. Holding her chin in her hand, she realized she hadn't really thought about it before: _Why was she back? _

Noel let his shoulders drop with a sigh. "Don't worry about it."

"I think…" she started, her eyes scrunched closed. "I think if I came back, I must have wanted something." Then her blue eyes popped open. "I know! I probably want my wish to be granted!"

"Your… wish?" Noel considered. When she didn't continue, he prompted her, "Which is?"

"I have no idea!" she said happily.

Noel sighed dramatically. "Well, that was a big help." He continued to pick up his shirts and underwear.

Leaning backwards until she fell softly onto her back, Serah continued to ponder her predicament. As she thought, her mind became filled with memories of her friends – back when they'd achieved the impossible. She remembered a tingling feeling and the sound of crystal shattering around her. Against the setting sun, she'd glimpsed her friends rejoice as they returned from their crystals to human form. Snow had run to her, twirled her in his arms excitedly. Then there was that stolen moment when Lightning had given them her blessing. Hope, so young and delicate, had looked at her in envy as he tried to smile with the rest. Dajh's giggles rang out around them as his dad picked him up for the first time in months.

_A wish…_ she thought. _What could be a better wish than for all of them to be together like that again?_

"I think I'd remember my wish if I saw everyone," Serah suggested. "Let's go! I want to see how old Dajh is!"

The truth weighed heavily on Noel's chest. "Serah when you…" he faltered, unable to voice the phrase. "When we defeated Caius…"

"Yes?"

"The world was taken over by chaos. Time now stands still." He walked over to deactivate the daylight controller on his window and lifted up the pane.

Serah walked over and curiously stuck her head outside. There she saw the swirling purple clouds in the sky. The buildings of Academia now looked old and weather worn. Dust swirled in the breeze and collected against the once-moving sidewalks, which now were still and lifeless.

"People generally don't go out there, anymore. Not unless they have to," Noel explained as Serah observed the dark and silent city.

Returning her attention to the room, Serah gave Noel a once-over. "You haven't aged a day…" she said in awe. Though it was hard to tell through his baggy grey sweatshirt and blue track pants, Noel seemed to look the same as the last time she'd seen him. His face was a little thinner, and maybe his arms had lost a little definition, but this was the Noel she remembered.

"Like I said." He let her eyes assess him. Shame made him bitter, he knew he wasn't a pretty sight. He hadn't left the small house he shared with Hope for months now, except to stop by the grocery store now and then, when Hope didn't get around to it. Because he rarely saw other people, he dressed comfortably and didn't worry about his appearance. Now, with Serah's eyes on him, he felt self-conscious.

"I still want to go," Serah said, again glancing out the window. "I want to see it for myself. I want to see them."

"Fine."

Before Serah could even squeal in delight, she was shoved out the door. "Get out, I'm going to change," Noel said, as he threw his sweatshirt in her face.

* * *

Noel locked the door behind them as they left the small house. As before, there was no one outside. Sticking his hands in the pockets of his baggy blue pants, he began walking with no destination in mind. Serah skipped ahead of him. The white of her dress shone like a light in the darkness.

The desolate quiet was broken by her bright voice, "Where's Hope?"

"He still works at the Academy, as Director. In fact, he's hardly ever home. He thinks there's a way to dispel the chaos," he said, looking up. At times, ribbons of light ripped through the gloom and altered something, like turning a tree into a mailbox. It was a chaotic world that Noel had given up on long ago.

"Well, let's go visit him!"

Noel didn't answer right away. Lost in his own thoughts, he continued to wander further into the eerily noiseless city.

After a while, Serah spoke up, "This isn't the way to the Academy building."

"We're not going to bother him at work."

"Why not? We did before. Remember when we were gathering the graviton cores? We'd stop by at least twice a day, trying to get clues-"

"People have changed, Serah. It's not like it was…"

Noel pressed on, not caring if Serah followed him or not. He lost track of his feet and before long, they were nearing the outskirts of the city, where the airport and military hangar stood as the last buildings before a vast desert. When he lifted his head, he decided it would be better to turn around and return home. But then someone called out to him:

"Noel!" A man jumped down from where he'd been working on the engine of an airship. "Long time no see!" Sazh hurried over, lifting his safety goggles off his eyes.

"Oh. Hi, Sazh," Noel replied. As Serah rushed past him he breathed, "Slow down!"

"SAZH!" Serah squealed. She jumped at the black man and gave him a huge bear hug.

"Huh," Sazh said, shrugging his shoulders. "I must have pulled something while working just now, my shoulders feel kinda heavy." He shook his head, trying to dispel the feeling. Focusing on the other man he said, "Well, to what do I owe this pleasure?" When Noel hesitated, Sazh added with his hands out in a stopping motion, "Not that you need a reason to come visit ol' Sazh, o' course. I'm just glad that you're outside."

"Right." The younger man shifted his weight awkwardly. "Well, I was just going to go."

Looking at him from all different angles, Serah determined that Sazh also hadn't aged since she last saw him. When she heard Noel trying to leave, Serah shouted angrily at him. "Wait, tell him about my wish!" She grabbed onto his arm and was struggling to pull him back to Sazh.

"Hey," Sazh said, reaching out to Noel's retreating back. "I know you don't talk much, but someone else is here today. He just got back from a scouting mission." Sure enough, behind him a large shadow was approaching from the other side of the airship.

"If it isn't Noel Kreiss. How ya been, buddy?" Snow said, feigning a punch to the brunette's stomach.

"…" Noel grimaced at the burly blonde man. Blue eyes fixed on the bottom fringe of Snow's black trench coat.

Dropping Noel's arm in surprise, Serah's eyes widened as she took in the familiar sight of her once-fiancé. Tears welled in her eyes_. Snow, he's here. He's…_

"Still the same as ever, huh?" Snow observed, noticing Noel's apathetic stance and downturned gaze. "How depressing. I heard you weren't leaving the house anymore."

"Hey now, the boy's making progress," Sazh interjected. "He's here, ain't he?"

Snow scoffed. "We don't give out medals for walking a few blocks." Snow rested his hands behind his blonde hair. "You know what I've been up to, Noel?" he asked a little forcefully. "I've been out there," he pointed to the desert, "looking for a way to make things right again. Trying to make up for your mistake. If only you hadn't killed the goddess…"

"Snow, stop it!" Serah shouted furiously. Tears splattered the ground as she shook her head violently. "You-you jerk!"

"Serah-!" Noel called as he reached out to her.

Both Sazh and Snow flinched at the name.

"So you're still thinking about that, eh?" Snow said softly.

Noel dropped his hand and lowered his head sadly.

The blonde's face hardened as he clenched a gloved fist. "Stop living in the past. Nothing's going to bring her back. You told me so yourself. She had the Eyes of Etro... It's best to just forget about her." Snow shook his head, as if to ward off hard memories. "You're pathetic." With that parting remark, the NORA leader strode back to the building.

Serah dropped to the ground as he left, both hands held against her mouth to stifle her sobs.

"Sorry about that," Sazh chuckled humorlessly. "You know our hero."

_Hot-headed as ever. _Noel thought. _Is this what you wanted to see, Serah? ...I don't know why I brought her out here. What was I thinking?_

"Yeah." Noel gave the old pilot one last look before taking off as well.

As soon as he was surrounded by buildings again, Noel broke into a jog. Then a run. Soon he was sprinting full-out down the dingy streets of Academia, the wind drying his tears on his cheeks.

"Noel? Noel, wait up!" Serah shouted from behind him.

Having expended all his energy, Noel stopped, breathing hard . He bent over with his hands on his knees. His hair masked his face as he said, "So now you see, everyone's changed." He straightened up, with his back to her, "but the person who's changed the most is me. Please, just leave me alone. Seeing you brings back memories that I'd prefer to forget."

Standing still, as if rooted to the spot, Serah listened quietly, and remained in middle of the street long after Noel ran away again. _Where will I go?_ She wondered.


	3. I'm right here

**Chapter 3: I'm right here  
**

Upon entering his house, Noel slammed the door violently. He took off his shoes and flung them at the door as hard as he could. Despite his efforts to ward off the feeling of inadequacy, those angry gestures only solidified the feeling in the pit of his stomach. _That couldn't have gone more wrong._ He collapsed on the floor in the foyer. _What am I doing? Of course Serah hadn't really come back._

* * *

The dismal streets of Academia reminded Serah of the visions she'd had of the future. She walked on, trying to ignore the nagging worry that she'd died for nothing. That her sacrifice was worth nothing._ No. What was it Noel said?_ That Hope believed there was a way to dispel the chaos?

Her pace quickened as she pushed herself towards the largest building in the city. The Academy. They would have the answers. That's where she'd find Hope.

* * *

Back and forth, Noel paced his room. _Why is this happening to me? Why can't I just let her go?_ He gripped his hair in frustration. Setting himself down on his bed, he cradled his head in his hands. _Why am I so pathetic?_ When he opened his eyes, he noticed a t-shirt on the floor between his feet. _Why did she have to make such a mess?_

_Wait – she… made the mess? _Noel came to the realization as he looked about his room. A few pieces of clothing remained where she'd thrown them: a sock on his desk and a pair of pants in front of the couch. Having not left the house in a long time, Noel always kept his living space impeccably clean. _There's no other way to explain it… She… _All of a sudden, his last words to her came back to him.

"Please, just leave me alone. Seeing you brings back memories that I'd prefer to forget."

_No. Serah -! Did I…? _Noel jumped from the bed and rushed to the front door. He hardly had the patience to put on his shoes, let alone lock the door. He ran back to the street where he'd last seen her.

"Serah!" he shouted, looking around wildly.

_How could I send her away? _He thought desperately as he continued to retrace his steps back to the hangar. _I didn't even say it! I didn't apologize!_

Sazh was packing up his tools when he saw Noel return, running like his life depended on it.

"Whoa, Noel, slow down now!" Sazh cautioned, as his friend seemed to have no intention of stopping. "There is a lot of heavy machinery 'round here! You could crack your head open, runnin' like that."

Noel's eyes were frantic. He grabbed Sazh by the collar. "She's gone!" he shouted. It took three more seconds before Noel realized what he was doing. Three whole seconds before he released his shocked friend and fell to his knees.

"What? Who's gone?" Sazh asked with great concern.

"Never mind," mumbled Noel. Ashamed that, for the second time today, he'd acted strangely around one of his only friends left.

The older man wouldn't give up so easily. Something was definitely bothering Noel. Leaving the house for the first time in months must have been really hard for him.

"Come with me, I've got some water and snacks on board," Sazh said, lifting Noel off the ground and into his airship. In his state of mind, Noel was unable to resist and made a minimal effort to follow the pilot into the large carrier.

"Now, what's really going on?" Sazh asked after he'd provided the other man with a glass of water and a chair in the kitchenette area.

Noel gulped down the water before answering. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Awe, what does that say about your faith in me?" Sazh chided. "I believe in a lot of crazy things: time travel, magic, Lady Luck…"

"…" Still unable to voice his concerns, Noel folded his arms in front of him and averted his gaze.

Sazh read him like a book. "It's about Serah, isn't it?"

Noel's head snapped up at her name. Embarrassed, he replied, "Yeah."

"It's ok, I'm not gonna yell at you or freak out or anything."

A real friend listens when you need them to. A real friend doesn't judge you. What Noel needed right now was a real friend. He strongly hoped that Sazh would fill that role. He couldn't face this alone anymore.

Heart pounding, Noel was afraid of how it would sound, and of how much he wanted to tell someone. "I… saw her today."

"Well, that's not so strange, I sometimes see her and Vanille and…" Sazh was saying, but Noel cut him off.

"No, I mean, she's back. She came back."

Dark brown eyes surveyed him wearily. "What do you mean, she came back?"

Drawing a hand through his shaggy brown hair, Noel laughed. "I don't know. Yesterday, I thought I was hallucinating. All of a sudden Serah was in my room, talking to me. She looked the same as before."

"Hey now, keep those kind of dreams to yourself!"

Noel blushed slightly. "No, it's not like that. She didn't go away. She followed me around the house. When she saw Hope, she greeted him… but he couldn't hear her." He tried to think of where he was going with this recollection. "Oh, she even moved things!"

That got Sazh's attention. "What?! Like a ghost or something?"

"Yeah, kinda," Noel replied. "Well, I don't know. No one else seems to see her."

"Was she there…" Sazh pictured the scene from earlier, with Snow. "Is that why you said her name?"

Nodding, Noel's mouth formed a thin line.

The two men stayed silent for a while. Noel was torn between wanting to open up completely to Sazh and wanting to crawl into the engine compartment to die. It was fortunate that he didn't decided on the latter, because Sazh turned out to be the friend he needed right now.

"That's amazing!" he said enthusiastically. "I wish I could see her!" All of a sudden Sazh got up from his seat and looked around the room. "Is she here now?"

"No," sighed the brunette as he rubbed his cheek nervously. "I kinda told her off after running away."

"I see." Work boots paced along the metal plating of the ship's hull. "Why did she come back, I wonder."

"Oh," Noel responded, "she said she wanted her wish granted."

"Her wish?"

"Yeah, but…" Noel sighed again. "She didn't seem to know what it was."

"Hm." Sazh laced his fingers and stretched out his arms in front of him. "Well, I can think of one place where wishes come true… Serendipity!"

Noel shook his head. "You think her wish was for us to gamble at the casino?!"

"Didn't you say she had her eye on that lucky coin?"

"Well, yeah, but that would take forever to win."

"Not with my help! I happen to be well acquainted with Lady Luck!" Sazh proclaimed happily.

"I'm not going to win this argument, am I?"

"Nope!" replied Sazh over his shoulder as he walked towards the flight deck. "Serendipity, here we come!"

* * *

The inside of the Academy building was just as drab and worn as the exterior. Serah expected to see scientists and engineers running about, working to solve the problems of the world. What she hadn't expected was this ghost town. _Ironically now inhabited by one ghost_, she mused. The reception area was deserted, with debris blown in through the broken entrance doors littering the floor.

From a half-remembered conversation with Hope, Serah knew that his office was on one of the upper floors, but when she visited him before, she'd always found him working on the Bhunivelze project on the main floor. As she entered the large research chamber opposite the main entrance, she found no sign of life. Even the computers were shut off._ I guess there isn't any need for computer models now that Bhunivelze has been launched._ So, Serah climbed into an elevator and selected the highest floor [**140**]. Thankfully, the elevator was still operational, the doors swished closed and it began to rise quickly.

This upper floor looked more like an apartment than a research facility. As Serah stepped out of the elevator, she noticed a long bank of windows to her right. The view was spectacular – or it would have been – _before_… She could see the entire ruined city of Academia spread out before her. The remaining buildings were lit up with a muted light, and it took a second before she understood: the windows were all covered over.

Noel had mentioned that the world descended to chaos… that time stood still… that people didn't go outside, if they could help it. _What did that mean?_ Serah wondered. Did they all just huddle together inside their homes with the windows boarded up, remembering the better times? _What kind of a life was that?_ No, she must be misunderstanding something. _Hope wouldn't allow that. _But then, the Noel she knew wouldn't have, either.

Taking in her immediate surroundings, she found herself in a living room area, with couches and comfortable chairs around a coffee table. The furnishings were well kept, as compared to everything else in this building, but the chairs looked like they saw little use. Serah moved through the room, her hand trailing along the couch, looking for sign that Hope was around. A band of light under the door at the far end of the room caught her attention. The door led to a large office. More windows ran along the walls, but let in little light, due to the swirling clouds of chaos blocking out the sunlight. _Or maybe the sun no longer existed? _This strange world confused her.

A banging noise came from the desk. A silver-haired person was unceremoniously slamming his fists against the surface over and over again. "This can't be right!" Hope's voice grumbled.

"Hope!" Serah squealed, running over to him. As she approached, the rest of the room came into view. Around the bend in the wall stood the crystals of Vanille and Fang, arranged like pieces of art in a museum.

Hope got up and started pacing. He held his chin as he muttered to himself. "If this reading can be trusted, the chaos levels have been increasing steadily since they appeared… Could this go on forever?" he shook his head. "What we need is some kind of … signal… that would antagonize the chaos…"

Following behind Hope as he paced around the room, Serah was also thinking. "Anti-chaos? The opposite of chaos… is order, right?"

Hope stopped, and Serah bumped into his back. Surprised by the sensation, Hope glanced behind him. "Huh… That's strange," he said, before sitting down at his desk again. "The opposite of chaos would be order…" he continued, to which Serah nodded enthusiastically. "But how can we start to bring order back into the world? The only one with that kind of power should be the goddess, Etro."

Hope lowered his head. While gazing at Vanille and Fang's crystal forms, Serah didn't notice the tears that escaped the Director's eyes.

"We didn't know anything about the goddess, before. We didn't know anything about Valhalla or Caius or the Void Beyond," he choked. "We were just pets of the FalC'ie. Puppets. We fought for our freedom, but now," he lifted his head, blinking back the tears. "I'd give anything to go back to those days."

This despair was unfitting for a man named Hope. Serah strode over to him and pulled his shoulders up. She wanted to shake him. "C'mon, Hope, don't give up now! Everyone is counting on you!" she prayed that her words would reach him somehow.

"Lightning…" he sighed despondently, wiping his eyes. "If only you were here… If only… Serah…"

"Hope," the pink haired woman whispered sadly, standing directly in front of him. "I'm right here!" Though it wouldn't have made a difference if she was a million miles away.

Eventually, Hope stood up and stretched his arms over his head. Consulting his watch, he stifled a yawn. "Enough for one day, I guess," he said. Gathering his papers in to a briefcase he muttered, "Etro, give me strength," before he snorted derisively, as if remembering the current situation of the goddess, "Or not."

Serah followed Hope back to the house he shared with Noel. On the way, she wondered if she was a manifestation of the chaos that had taken over the world. The dead coming back… that was chaotic, wasn't it? It made her feel guilty to know that she could be part of the problem. If only she could just wish it all away. All this unease, this darkness, this… unhappiness. It was the last thing she'd ever want her friends to endure.

When they arrived, they found the door left wide open. The lights were all on.

"Noel?" Hope called out.

There was no reply. Noel was gone.


	4. Lucky Star

**Chapter 4: Lucky Star**

With the timeline distorted as it was, the boundary between the mortal realm and the unseen realm was blurred. From Academia it was now possible to go anywhere – to Valhalla, to the Coliseum in the Void Beyond, and even to Serendipity Casino. Sazh's ship shot up into the dark clouds. For a while, Noel couldn't see anything beyond the windows of the aircraft, the world around them was erased by the oppressive grey sky.

"Are you sure it's safe, flying into this?" Noel worried.

"I'd bet my life on it!" Sazh laughed.

Sure enough, lights pierced through the gloom directly ahead of them. Noel thought he could see a bird's eye view of Serendipity, but the image was blurry and came in and out of focus. Turbulence rocked the ship as they neared their destination. Still, the view remained fuzzy, alternating between color and black and white.

"Hold on!" Sazh yelled, his knuckles turning white from his grip on the controls.

"To what?!" demanded Noel, looking around for a seat-belt or a handle to hold. The ship was shaking so hard that Noel was bouncing out of his chair. Red warning lights were flashing on the dashboard. The engine was emitting a high-pitched whining sound.

"To your money!" Sazh laughed as the ship crashed through the barrier between Gran Pulse and Serendipity. The turbulence ceased and Sazh landed the ship calmly.

Annoyed blue eyes stared holes into Sazh's afro. "Awe, I was just messin' with you, don't be so sensitive."

"I thought we were going to crash!"

"Nah," shrugged Sazh. "Lady Luck's on my side, remember?"

Sazh led the way into the resort. They were welcomed by a woman with green chocobo feathers. Serendipity was just like Noel remembered it, though it was decidedly busier now than ever before. They made their way through the crowds of people and into the gaming area. Sazh was greeted at the door by a man in a tux and tails – well, just the one tail.

"Mr. Katzroy, back to try your luck?"

"No card games today, Eduardo," he replied, hands in his pockets. "How're the machines?"

"It's like a hot summer's day!"

A greedy grin formed on Sazh's face. He led Noel by the shoulders over to the cashier.

Another chocobo woman, this one with yellow feathers stood at the till. "How many coins would you like today?"

Noel looked at Sazh expectantly. The other man stared blankly back. For a moment, neither of them said anything. Then, Sazh nudged Noel encouragingly.

"Remember, this is for Serah! Don't hold back."

"What? You were the one with the idea to come out here! Are you telling me you don't have any money?"

Sazh put his hands on his hips. "Noel, I'm a single father, I have my son to think about! I can't gamble away our life savings!"

"But you have no problem gambling with mine!"

Noel assessed his gil count. It was well over 2 million. Money had never been an issue for him since his and Serah's adventure through time. They'd completed all the quests they'd found, often going back and forward in time to defeat monsters and collect items. Along the way, they had lived frugally, saving their gil in case they needed to buy something important – such as that wild artifact they'd bought outright from Serendipity. They'd even saved gil on weapons by only using the models dropped by monsters. Really, there was no reason not to use his money now, but… Noel shook his head in amusement. _It was the principle of the matter…_

* * *

Hope dropped his briefcase as he ran inside the house. "Noel? Noel!" he shouted frantically.

Only yesterday, Noel had fainted right in front of him. He'd been acting strange lately, in many instances seeming distracted by things that weren't there. Now this? Coming home to an empty house was something that Hope hadn't expected to do ever again. As he checked upstairs for his friend, Hope worried that Noel was taken away by force. Why else would he leave the door wide open?

After searching the house for any sign of a struggle, Hope collapsed at the kitchen table with a sigh. As out-of-character as it was, it looked like Noel had just simply forgotten to close the door when he left the house. Hope's silver hair hung in his grey-green eyes, and he brushed it away impatiently. In the last five years, haircuts had been low on Hope's to-do list, and as a result his bangs had grown long and his hair now brushed shoulders in a wavy mess. His fingers raked through the strands while he contemplated where Noel could be.

Out of the corner of his eye, Hope noticed his briefcase leaning against the wall. Frowning, he got up and walked over to it. He'd been in a panic when he'd come home, but he didn't remember bringing the bag into the kitchen. Normally, he'd leave it at the front door, or if he planned to work on something at home, he'd bring his notes into the small office adjacent to his bedroom on the second floor. Now, as he looked at the briefcase, a piece of paper stuck out of the seam at him. Sure enough, when he opened it on the table, papers spilled out in disarray. When he'd left the Academy building, he'd been sure to organize his notes, placing the most recent Chaos Readings at the top. _What the hell?_ he thought as he rummaged through the papers. His fingers came into contact with something solid underneath his notes. He fished the item out. When it came into view, a startled shout escaped his lips.

It couldn't be. He knew Noel had stashed it away in the top drawer of his desk. A year ago, he'd stumbled across it by accident while cleaning. He hadn't told him that he'd found it. No one else knew that he had it. Despite all the times Snow had implied that it had been stolen, not once had Noel admitted that he'd kept it for himself. But why was Serah's necklace now in his briefcase?

"Is anyone there?" Hope demanded to the empty house, suddenly on edge. "Hello?"

No one answered.

Maybe Noel was feeling devilish and decided to pull a prank on him? But – this didn't feel like something his friend would joke about. Since she'd died, Noel fell silent when they talked about Serah. Without her around, Noel had changed into a different person. Sullen and quiet, he became completely removed from everyone else. In spite of his aversion to anything that reminded him of her, or maybe because of it, Hope was sure that Noel thought about Serah every day. So, bringing her up like this, with an item that symbolized so much pain, was not something Noel could ever do.

"Ser-ah?" Hope whispered hesitantly, as if afraid to say her name.

Serah stood across the table from Hope, tears welling in her eyes. Hope hadn't changed one bit. He was just as smart and hardworking as he was before. And he cared so much for the people around him. "Hope. Yes, I'm right here!"

But, to her distress, Hope made no indication of having heard her. He looked down at the necklace in his hand once more and slid it into his coat pocket. Then, with sudden inspiration, he took out his comm device and called Sazh.

* * *

"No, no, no," Sazh was yelling in Noel's ear. "Wait until you see a flash of red, then stop the reel. If you're too early, the best you'll get is three chocobos! We need Nines to get us to Victory Mode. Nines!"

Noel sat in front of a slot machine that reminded him vaguely of a velocycle. Sazh stood next to the machine, bent over at an awkward angle so he could also see the panel of lights and levers. For the past hour, the older man had been shouting advice at him – advice that was often incorrect or contradictory to something he'd said previously. First, it had been 'stop all the reels no less than three seconds after pulling the lever'. Then he'd said 'wait for the "ping" sound', which was apparently an auditory cue that signified a winning pull. Now it was 'wait for a flash of red'. Noel was nearing his limit. The next time Sazh opened his mouth, he was going to stuff their remaining casino coins in it.

As Noel pulled the lever again, a strange ringing sounded in his ear. _Could this be the "ping" Sazh had mentioned?_ he wondered. It didn't really sound like a 'ping' though. It sounded more like bells chiming. Also, wasn't it getting louder every time he heard it?

"Uh, Sazh?" Noel asked, glancing over his shoulder at the man behind him.

"Ah, you missed it!" Sazh said, his face glowing in the flashing lights of the slot machine. "There," he said, pointing his finger at the screen, "Noel, the red! Arg, missed again!"

"Sazh!" Noel shouted, waving his hand in front of his face. "Sazh, I think you're getting a call. Hey, SAZH!"

Finally, his friend seemed to snap out of his daze. Sure enough, the ringing stopped when Sazh pulled out the device and answered the call.

"Hello? Oh, Hope!" Sazh said with a smile, patting Noel's shoulder as he spoke. Noel shrugged him off in annoyance. He was beginning to think Sazh had a bit of a gambling problem.

"Yeah, yeah, he's here with me. Yes, he's O-K. We're at Serendipity Casino right now. Oh! You'll never believe this, we're here to grant Serah's-"

Noel dove for the phone, wrenching it from Sazh's hand. "Hi, Hope. Sazh has to go right now. He's got a lot of money riding on this hand. Talk to you later, bye!"

After he hung up, Noel tossed the comm device back to Sazh. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he demanded.

"What do you mean?" Sazh replied innocently. "I just thought he'd want to help grant Serah's wish."

The reels continued to roll in front of Noel, casting multicolored shadows on his face. "Don't you think he'll find it a little weird that all of a sudden we're hanging out and talking about Serah?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"It didn't go over very well with Snow, remember?"

Sazh gave him the sympathy of his brown eyes. "But Noel, this is Hope we're talking about. We all loved Serah, but Hope isn't Snow. He'll have an easier time accepting this."

"This?" Noel slumped down in his seat. "I don't even know what 'this' is. I thought I saw Serah, no, I _believe_ I saw her, but that doesn't mean anything. Except maybe that I'm going insane..."

A large hand clapped down on his shoulder then. "It's more than that, Noel! You told me yourself, she _moved _things! Don't worry about what our self-proclaimed 'Hero' thinks. Just because I can't see her doesn't mean I can't believe that you do!"

"Right…"

"Now, as for Hope, he was just calling because he was concerned about you," Sazh said, his tone turning serious. "I think you owe him an explanation. I mean, this _is_ the first time you've left the house in… I don't know how long. You should have left a note or something."

He was right. Noel exhaled through his nose bitterly. After what Sazh had been about to say to him, Noel didn't want to talk to Hope again for a while. As good as it felt to finally unload his secret onto someone, it was one thing to tell Sazh – an eccentric pilot with a strong sense of humor – and quite another to tell the Director of the Academy that he was seeing the ghost of their dead friend.

_Just one more pull_, Noel reasoned. _Then I'll call Hope back_.

He stopped the reels, which had been spinning the whole time, in quick succession. Ching, Ching, CHING! Three 9's lined up in the center row. The lights flashed happily.

"Victory Mode!" Sazh nearly screamed in his ear.

In their excitement, any intention of calling Hope back dissipated from their minds.

* * *

"…_you'll never believe this, we're here to grant Serah's…"_

Again, the mention of Serah put Hope on edge. Why was Sazh talking about her? Did he somehow plant the necklace in his briefcase? But no, that didn't make any sense. It hadn't been there when he'd left the Academy building, but appeared when he'd returned home. Also, he was pretty sure he'd dropped the briefcase outside in his rush to find Noel. Something strange was going on.

It was no surprise that Sazh was at the casino. In fact, it would have been more of a surprise if he wasn't. Hope figured that, with a professional gambler in tow, Noel wouldn't return home anytime soon. And, since he had nothing better to do, and was quite curious about what they were up to, Hope decided he'd join them.

With great interest, Serah watched Hope retrieve a golden coin from his satchel. As he balanced it on his thumbnail, Serah leaned close to him. Then, with a flick, Hope sent the coin flying. It flipped end over end as it reached its apex and began to fall back down, into his upturned hand. He slapped the coin onto the back of his other hand, and Serah placed her hand over his.

Together they shouted "Serendipity Casino!" and they both disappeared from the kitchen.

* * *

Materializing just outside the gates, Hope and Serah wasted no time, running straight for the games room. There, they found Noel and Sazh in the center of a huge crowd of people, pulling the lever of the slot machine. With each action the crowd cheered or sighed, depending on the outcome. Loud electronic music crashed into their ears, and its pitch and energy told them both one thing: the men had made it to Super Victory Mode!

Hope pushed his way through the people until he was next to Noel, on the opposite side from Sazh.

"Hey guys!" he shouted over the music.

"Hope!" Noel said excitedly, with a huge grin on his face, "We're in Super Victory Mode! Can you believe it?!"

"That's great!" Hope replied, his own face lighting up with a smile. The fact that Noel was genuinely enjoying himself meant more to him than any number of coins they could possibly win from the machine.

"Do you think I could try it out?" he asked, reaching for the lever. "I feel lucky all of a sudden."

Sazh nodded, and handed him a 100$ casino coin. Noel showed him where to insert the coin and how to stop the reels.

"Here we go!" Hope shouted, dropping the coin in the slot.

Serah moved closer to get a better view of the screen. As she moved, Noel caught sight of her in his peripheral vision. His eyes widened in surprise. He gestured for her to come closer. Just then, the machine went ballistic. Ching, Ching, CHING! Sirens blared and lights flashed as three 9's lined up once more. Coins poured out of the machine in a seemingly endless stream. The gathered crowd around them cheered. Noel gave Hope a high-five, and Sazh was busy collecting as many coins as he could in his hands.

Watching the men celebrate, Serah beamed sweetly. Seeing them together… it reminded her of how things were before. It was like a glimpse of the past – the laughing faces of Hope and Sazh and Noel…

"I'm so happy," she whispered, wiping a tear from her eyes.

A coin rolled over to her, falling flat when it hit her foot. Serah looked down at the coin, and was surprised to see it was glowing.

"Hey Noel," she called to him, trying to get his attention. Noel glanced over and then down at her feet where she indicated.

Following Noel's attention, Sazh also looked in her direction. Then he scrambled over Noel with excitement, groping down at the coin on the floor. "Do you know what this is?!" he asked, holding the coin up with reverence.

"The Lucky Coin?" came Noel's hesitant reply.

Straightening up, Sazh gathered both Noel and Hope in a giant bear hug. "We did it!" he cheered. A tear of joy streaked down his face. "Serah, I hope this makes you happy!"

Being crushed in the other man's arms, Hope stiffened. "Serah? What are you talking about, Sazh?"

The jovial attitude seemed to deflate instantly. Noel struggled out of the embrace, again looking over at Serah. She stood next to the machine, smiling brightly. Any hope he'd had that winning the coin would grant her wish now left him. Even though he'd doubted the strategy from the beginning, he'd allowed himself to believe that something so small could bring Serah peace. But there she stood, no different from when she appeared to him in his room yesterday.

Noting Noel's crestfallen appearance, Sazh said observantly, "It didn't work, did it Noel?"

Eyes narrowed in a questioning stare directed at Serah, Noel replied sadly, "No, it didn't."

Again, Hope glanced back and forth between the two men. "What are you guys talking about?"

When Serah gave Noel a shrug, Noel sighed and faced Hope. He had to tell him now. At least the crowd had moved on and the three were left alone – well four of them, including Serah.

"Hope, I…" Noel faltered. He cleared his throat and tried again. "It's just that… I saw Serah in a dream… or something."

Disbelief colored Hope's features, from his furrowed eyebrows to his narrowed eyes. However, rather than arguing with him, Hope let it go.

Sazh interjected, "She came back to have her wish granted!" He laughed, "But it seems she wasn't hoping for the Lucky Coin. A little bit o' wishful thinking on my part, I guess."

They all laughed at that.

As they walked back to Sazh's airship, Noel trailed behind, walking side-by-side with Serah.

"I guess my wish must have been something else," Serah said, nonchalant.

"Yeah," Noel replied quietly.

"But still, all kinds of nice things happened!" Serah said, skipping around Noel. "You got to become friends with Sazh again!"

"…" Noel scratched the back of his head. "It's not like we were ever _not_ friends."

Serah giggled and started running towards the spinning platform in the middle of the square.

"Hey, be careful!" Noel shouted.

"Don't worry!" she called over her shoulder. When she reached the edge of the hypnotic floor she used her anti-grav ability to jump over the entire platform. "There's lot of fun for us ahead! I can't wait!"

"Are you for real…?" he chuckled.

_Lots of fun ahead?_ he thought to himself. _Well, I did enjoy myself for the first time in a while_, he admitted, replaying the events of the day in his head.

Serah caught up to Sazh and Hope who were walking ahead of them. She linked arms with Hope, who looked down with surprise, but continued his conversation with Sazh like nothing happened.

_It looks my stress isn't going anywhere,_ Noel decided, his mouth forming a small grin._ If I get another tomorrow… I think it's safe to take my time in apologizing._

"Coming, Noel?" Sazh shouted over his shoulder.

"You bet!" He ran forward, taking his place between Hope and Sazh, placing an arm across both men's shoulders.

Serah covered a grin under her hand as she watched Noel. Slowly, he was coming out of his shell again. Day by day, she knew he was coming back.


	5. Monster Hospital

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. And yes, the chapter title is referring to the song by Metric.**_

* * *

**Chapter 5: Monster Hospital**

Hope opened the door to Noel's bedroom.

"Good morning. I'm heading out to the office." Noel rolled over in response. Unperturbed, Hope continued, "The hospital is taking visitors today. Are you going?"

The brunette grumbled into his pillow. "Not today."

"Ok, I'll see you later!" The door slid shut quietly as Hope left his friend to sleep another day away.

_Why doesn't he yell at me?_ Noel wondered, now awake. It grated on his conscience that Hope accepted his apathetic lifestyle so easily. Especially considering how hard he'd been working to resolve the chaos problem. _It's not like I pay rent or anything. I'm glad that he doesn't, but… Maybe I wish he did yell. _

From out of nowhere, Serah jumped onto the bed and, by association, onto Noel. "What are you doing, Noel?" she demanded, shaking him awake. "Who's in the hospital? And why aren't you visiting them?"

Noel moved away from her, pulling the blankets up over his face. He didn't want to have this conversation, least of all with her. But, as always, Serah was tenacious and wouldn't let it go.

"Noel!"

With a sigh, he responded miserably, "It's Mog, okay?"

Visibly shaken, Serah quieted, moving to the edge of the bed. "Why?"

Noel sat up, "He just faded away, right after you. He said the goddess was dead. Ever since then, he hasn't woken up. Hope forced the hospital to admit him, even though they don't take non-humans, and they put him in the intensive care unit."

After a moment of silence, Serah said, "Maybe this is my wish: for you to take care of Mog!"

"Serah, I – " he started, but seeing her in pain over not being able to be there for the moogle, not to mention the rest of her friends, he relented. "Fine."

Serah insisted she tag along, but Noel didn't think that would be a good idea. She hadn't seen Mog since the end of their journey. It would be hard for her to accept the shape he was in now. Besides, he didn't want a repeat of the scene with Snow. From now on, he wanted to protect her from seeing or hearing things that would remind her that she was no longer alive.

So, Noel promised that he'd take her with him to the hospital next time, which seemed to brighten her mood. He still considered that she was just a hallucination – a way for his own mind to tell him that he needed to get out of the house. But even so, it was difficult to make that first step.

_A whole day out there…_ Noel shivered. It was hard to describe the atmosphere outside. In short bursts he could handle it, but over time, he felt like the chaos built up inside him. His skin starts feeling plastic, like his body would start changing any moment, morphing into some sinister creature. He'd get a pounding headache that wouldn't leave until he was safe in his bed again. And then there was the paranoia… the feeling that Caius was lurking in the shadows, that the lingering chaos would solidify and swallow him whole.

For today, he'd give it a shot. He headed west from his house in Grand Avenue, the closest neighborhood to the Academy building, across the Central Bridge and into New Town, where the hospital was located.

When he arrived, the receptionist was visibly astonished. She started talking quickly, explaining that a new doctor was assigned to the moogle. Not because they thought he wasn't a priority, she assured him, but because there were a lot of patients suffering from Chaos Disorder…

Noel didn't pay much attention to her ramblings, except to note that they'd moved Mog from ICU to a new wing. Expecting the palliative care unit, Noel was surprised when she called it the "Chaos Research Wing".

"Wait, hold on," Noel stopped her babbling with a hand on her arm. The seemingly endless stream of words out of her mouth ceased and she looked up at him with worried expression.

"Why is Mog in a research wing? Are you experimenting on him?" he asked, agitated. "Why didn't you tell me when you were moving him?"

The woman would have chuckled, if she wasn't slightly afraid of Noel. His anger seemed genuine, so she answered concisely, "We did tell you. I personally called your comm device several times before getting through. You said you didn't care what we did."

Noel couldn't remember the exchange, but it was believable. How could he have been so callous toward the creature that had saved his life countless times?

"Well, I care now," he spat out, his loathing directed now at himself.

"Mog's new doctor requested that he be placed in isolation. When he was placed in an incubator… well, I think I'll let the doctor explain," the receptionist said, as a man approached them, wearing the essential white lab coat and glasses. "This is Dr. Desouki. He's been placed in charge of Mog's primary care."

The man held a hand out to Noel. It had been so long since Noel had met someone new, and the first time he'd shaken hands for years. Initially hesitant, he inspected the man's hand. His olive skin was smooth and unbroken, not the hands of a hunter, but he supposed they fit a doctor well enough. Meeting the man's large green eyes, Noel accepted the handshake.

"Hi… Noel Kreiss."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Kreiss," answered the doctor, his face relaxing into a smile which held both amusement and self-assurance. He immediately began steering Noel away from the reception desk, as if eager to discuss his accomplishments in research. "When Mog came into my care, he was unresponsive, deflated and his antenna was dark."

The description fit the last time Noel had seen the moogle. He nodded, curious to hear if his condition had changed, but trying not to get his hopes up.

"But, with my expertise in Chaos Disorder – the affliction that affects anyone who stays out-of-doors for too long – led me to believe that Mog had a very serious case of the disease. So we placed him in quarantine, in an isolation chamber, hoping free him from the source of chaos. And, well, see for yourself!'

They had arrived in the Research Unit, and Noel was surprised to find Mog flitting about inside a plexiglass cage. Holes were drilled in the walls for air and communication, though they were covered over with some gauze-like material.

"Noel, kupo!" the creature called, ecstatic.

"Mog, you're alright!" he cheered, rushing to the cage.

Dr. Desouki cleared his throat, clearly wanting more attention. "We've since discovered that your friend is uniquely susceptible to the chaos. We're not sure why, so we've been running some tests on him. I hope that's ok."

"Thank you, doctor," Noel replied hastily. Then he turned back to the moogle. "Are they treating you alright?"

"Of course, kupo! They saved me from my nightmares, this is the least I could do to thank them."

A nurse came in, signaling to the doctor and then to her watch. Everyone got the message, but it was Dr. Desouki who said it out loud.

"Sorry to cut your reunion short, Mr. Kriess, but it's time for Mog's checkup. You can come back later today, if you want to visit."

"Thanks," he replied sincerely. "I will. And you can call me Noel." He held out his hand to the man again. Dr. Desouki gave him a raised eyebrow, but shook nonetheless.

"Bye Mog, I'll come back real soon."

"Bye, kupo!"

* * *

Later in the day, back at the house, the doorbell rang. Serah had insisted on making lunch, and Noel was supervising because he figured that _ghost friend/hallucination _+ _hot stove_ = _disaster, fire, etc._ Sure enough, the water had started boiling over while Serah was still chopping vegetables. Noel took the lid off the pot and turned the heat down. The doorbell rang a second time.

"You should really get the door, Noel," Serah observed, carefully slicing a red onion.

Noel chuckled. "There's no way I'm leaving you alone with a knife and a hot stove. That's one too many ways to spell trouble."

Then, the impatient caller then assaulted the doorbell, ringing it over and over again, as fast as possible.

"Okay, OK! I'm coming!" he shouted, pulling Serah with him, away from the kitchen.

At the door stood Sazh, who was now leaning casually against the doorframe as if he hadn't just rang the doorbell a million-zillion times.

"Oh, hi Noel. How are things?" he inquired politely.

"What the hell, Sazh? What is so important?"

In response, the older man thrust a piece of paper in his face. It was a hand-written invitation to a barbeque:

_Come celebrate good luck and good friends with a barbeque! _

_Let's figure out Serah's last wish together!_

_Where: NORA house, New Bodhum_

_When: Tonight!_

_Who: Everyone!_

"What's this?" he asked, referring more so to the reason behind the invitation, and not the content itself.

Dark brown eyebrows wiggled with glee. "What do you think it is? Anyway, you have to come! You'll bring the guest of honor, right?" Without waiting for an answer, Sazh walked away, whistling.

Watching his friend retreat in a state of shock, Noel just stood in the doorway. Serah tore the invitation out of Noel's hand, and read it over with excitement.

"This looks like fun! I can't wait! Do you think there'll be fireworks?"

Cluing in, Noel distanced himself from the idea. "What makes you think you're going?"

"Aw, Noel, you were going to go without me?" she whined, giving him bright puppy dog eyes.

"Wait, no, I mean, I'm not going either!" he sputtered.

Just thinking about it made Noel uneasy. Knowing Sazh, he'd probably invited Snow. No, if that was the case, he definitely wasn't going.

"But… maybe it's my wish that you go!"

"…Don't you think you're taking this wish thing a little too far?"


	6. Believe

**Chapter 6: Believe**

Evening had descended, though the horizon was as dark as ever, on the small house that still served as an outpost for members of NORA. The acronym – meaning "no obligations, rules or authority" – no longer applied to the group of people that were working the hardest to find a way to save the world. The "barbeque" had only just officially started when Snow sauntered in to the sitting area, where Sazh, Noel and Hope were already assembled.

"So I invited all of you here to discuss Serah," said Sazh, anticipating surprise from everyone, and was disappointed when no one even gasped. "I think if we grant her wish, she'll be able to pass on to the next life."

"Why are we so sure she's come back? That she even had a wish?" grumbled Snow.

"Well, she appeared to Noel…" Sazh said, not wanting to encourage a conflict.

The former hunter just sat there, making eye contact with the wall. He didn't want to involve everyone like this. The only reason he'd come tonight was to appease Serah. She'd been insistent. If her wish did involve the others, he didn't want to risk missing the chance to grant it. However, as a safety measure, he'd made Serah promise to watch quietly from the kitchen.

"Earth to Noel…" Snow called, waving his hand. When he didn't respond, Snow asked, "So why do we trust the word of this social reject again?"

Hope piped up. "It's not just Noel," he said, pulling something out of his pocket. Everyone gasped then. They hadn't seen Serah's necklace since the funeral.

"You!" Snow shouted angrily, raising a fist.

Sazh held him back, while giving Hope a curious glance. Even Noel had raised his head in surprise. The sight filled him with dread. He was sure that Hope was going to expose him as the culprit for stealing the necklace.

When everyone had quieted down, Hope continued. "I found this in my briefcase last night. It wasn't there when I left the office, but when I returned home, it had mysteriously appeared."

Snow slumped against Sazh, his rage under control for now. Hope passed the pendant into Snow's hands for inspection.

"I believe this is Serah's necklace," to which Snow nodded once. "Furthermore, I believe that Serah herself put it there."

Sazh nodded enthusiastically. "Noel said she could move things!" Then he added to Snow, "what do you think? Proof enough?"

Snow declined to comment.

Noel gave Hope a questioning glance. It wasn't Hope's explanation that was puzzling him but the outright omission of where the necklace had been before showing up in his briefcase. _Why was he protecting him?_

Clapping his hands, Sazh addressed the group. "So, now that we've settled that matter, on to the next point of business: her wish. Does anyone have an idea of what it could be?"

Still bitter about the exchange, especially because everyone had sided with Noel, Snow muttered under his breath, "She probably wished that Noel hadn't killed the goddess."

Having heard this complaint from Snow one time too many, Noel snapped. "What is your problem?" he shouted, jumping to his feet. "For the last time, _I_ didn't kill the goddess! Caius stabbed _himself _with my sword." Then out of spite he added, "Serah was with _me_. She _saw_ it, so she never would have made such a backwards wish."

Again, Snow surged with aggressive energy, but Sazh hadn't given up being the mediator.

To diffuse the situation, Hope considered the question thoughtfully before answering.

"I think she would have wished to save the world." Holding his chin in one hand, he paced around the small sitting area. "From what I know, she had been willing to risk her own life to restore the timeline. But right after she did, the world descended into chaos, through no fault of her own. So her dying wish must have been that her sacrifice would free the timeline of chaos."

The idea was a good one, and definitely something Serah would want. However, it was something that Hope had been working on since day 1, and they were no closer to the solution after 5 years. Serah's appearance would give the operation a well-needed surge of enthusiasm, but why hadn't she come sooner?

The group grew silent at the suggestion. Even Snow calmed down enough to give it some thought. Hope stopped pacing to lean against the wall.

Sazh agreed with Hope. "That definitely fits with Serah's personality. She always tried to help everyone."

Both Noel and Snow nodded. It was such a simple gesture, but it suggested that they agreed on one thing, at least. His confidence bolstered, Sazh continued.

"Alright, it's agreed. We'll try our best to get rid of the chaos. But, in the meantime," he added, aware of the daunting task ahead of them, "maybe we should consider if there was anything else Serah could have wished for."

Aware that the spirit of cooperation might suffer by his next statement, Snow took his time choosing his words. As much as he didn't want to believe that Serah had come back only to appear to Noel, there was enough evidence to convince him to play along, for a while at least.

In an uncharacteristically quiet voice he said, "The only thing I can think of that she wanted to do but never got the chance… was our wedding."

An irritated Noel shot Snow a glance and snorted at the concept. _He had to go there,_ he fumed. _Always trying to mark his territory. _As if Serah would come back from the dead for something as silly as a wedding that never occurred. A wedding to the man she loved. A wedding that was postponed time and again, due to their separation by crystal slumber, time travel and many other hardships. When Noel seriously considered it, it wasn't so silly after all.

Instead of rising to the bait, Noel took the higher ground. "That could be the case," he allowed, finally looking at Snow properly. The larger man flinched. "Your wedding was always on her mind. But there are a few considerations."

Snow had been looking triumphant, but now his brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Well, the reason you didn't get married after she was freed from crystal stasis was because Lightning had disappeared, right?" Noel stated, again, trying hard not to let his emotions take over.

"But now Lightning is a crystal. I don't think Serah would want her wedding to go on without her sister," Noel continued. The others nodded in agreement. "and that brings me to my next point: how are you supposed to marry a ghost whom you can't even see?"

Hope chuckled, and Snow fumed.

"If you were just going to rip apart my argument, why'd you agree with me?"

Hope jumped in, "Well you brought up another excellent possibility," he said, trying to placate Snow. "Maybe Serah wished that Light would be freed from crystal stasis. So she could attend your wedding."

As much as Sazh was impressed by the progress of the meeting, every solution seemed well out of their reach. Though they were used to facing the impossible, he didn't want them to get discouraged. That was especially true for Noel, who'd been depressed and nearly inconsolable until just recently. He knew that if nothing good came of their efforts in the short term, that the boy would probably just give up.

"Ok," he said, as the impromptu leader of the meeting. "But what about fireworks?"

The change in direction was too abrupt for the others to follow.

"What?" Hope dead-panned.

Sazh tried again. "Well, we agreed that Serah might have wanted to fix the timeline, eliminate the chaos, and revive Lightning. But what if she wanted something simple, like watching the Bodhum Fireworks festival one last time before she passes on?"

At this point, even Noel gave Sazh a funny look. "Why would she come back for something so frivolous?"

Shaking his head, Sazh clarified. "I'll explain it to you, since you weren't there." Noel backed down, a little offended.

"At the beginning, before the crystallization and fall of Cocoon, there was the Purge. It was a few days after the Bodhum Fireworks festival. As fate would have it, Serah, Snow, Lightning, Hope and his mom, Vanille and Fang, and myself and Dajh were all in attendance. It was the last normal moment of her life, Noel. She'd just become a l'Cie – the first of all of us – and Snow had proposed to her, promising to help her in her focus, no matter the cost. That night, under the fireworks, was the last time she was able to ignore her fate. Ever since then, she'd been running from one disaster to the next, being crystallized, losing her sister, and traveling through time," Sazh finished his lecture with a thought. "Maybe Serah realizes that, in order to achieve the impossible, we have to first sit down and enjoy the little things in life that we are trying to protect."

Having been wandering around the house, finding her room exactly as she had left it, Serah returned just in time to hear Sazh's words. They were so inspiring, she couldn't help but agree.

"Sazh, when did you get to know me so well?" she wondered, leaning against the counter. By fluke, she managed to bump a large pot over the edge.

The loud crash it made as it hit the floor made the men jump. Noel looked over and saw Serah's sheepish grin. She shrugged, mouthing "oops".

Though they were all startled by the noise, it was only Snow who bolted upright and ran out of the room. His gaze darted around the kitchen, briefly alighting on Serah, but without seeing her, he jogged out of the house. Someone had been listening in on their conversation, he was sure of it. He didn't want to be seen as weak, as unable to move on, unable to lead the NORA gang, so he needed to set the records straight. And that meant clearing up any misunderstanding the eavesdropper had overheard.

He'd almost been coaxed by the others to play along in this futile exercise. Shaking his head, he scoffed as much at himself as the others he'd just left. Maybe _they_ need to do this to ease their consciences, but Snow didn't need that. He and Serah had an unspoken bond, and he knew that she would have told him not to brood over her five years later. She would have wanted them all to move on.

That was when an idea came to him. He continued to run well into the wilderness behind the house, out of sight of the others.

* * *

Sazh, Hope and Noel made their way out onto the beach. They had no idea what had made Snow suddenly run away, but they thought it best to let him cool off for a moment. Hope started up a fire, while Sazh carried armfuls of firewood over from the shed. Noel and Serah sat on the edge of the dock, overlooking the water.

"How'd the meeting go?" Serah asked, cautiously.

Noel scratched the back of his head. He didn't want to worry her about Snow or his angry outbursts. "Well, we agreed on a couple of things, and we have some solid plans… so I guess it went ok."

"That's great!" she said, smiling.

Just then, heavy footfalls behind them let them know that Snow was back. At the campfire he stopped, out of breath as if he'd run the entire way. When everyone joined him, Snow grinned.

"You'll never guess what I just saw!" he shouted, raising his hands in the air. "Serah appeared to me, too!"

His words hit Noel with amazing force, enough that he took a step back. The brunette looked wearily over to Serah, who had been by his side the whole time.

The others looked jovial, especially Sazh.

"Yeah, she said that we can forget about this wish thing. She doesn't want us to be fussing over her anymore."

With a wink that suggested a challenge, Snow added to Noel, "Guess you aren't the only one."


	7. Something must be wrong with me

**Chapter 7: Something must be wrong with me**

"_Serah appeared to me too! She said that we can forget about this wish thing. She doesn't want us to be fussing over her anymore."_

Serah's face crumbled at Snow's words. Her moods had been so brittle lately, always teetering between joy and sorrow, both resulting in tears. But this time, a righteous anger filled her, warming her cheeks and causing her hands to shake.

The group had fallen silent; their eyes focusing on red glare of the fire, making the night around them seem even darker. It was evident that not everyone believed what Snow had to say, but no one was willing to call him out on it. Awkwardness followed the declaration, during which they asked themselves, _if not for Serah, why are we all here?_ Soon enough, they'd all go their separate ways again. Without a common goal, they'd become strangers.

Serah wouldn't have it. "No, it's not like that!" she shouted, her face illuminated by the flames. "I'm really happy that you guys are hanging out again and trying to help me. Even though I died, I still wanted you to be friends!"

Noel winced at her otherwise unheard request.

"Well... if that's what Serah really wants…" Sazh reasoned, a little dejected, "I guess we'll be on our way."

Hope, too, looked like he was about to give up.

Serah hung her head in defeat.

Glancing between the pink-haired apparition and the man who claimed to have loved her, Noel gritted his teeth. Even if the Serah before him wasn't the only one, even if she was just a figment of his imagination, Snow's attitude was completely out of line. What had started as a gathering of friends to honor her memory had become a pissing match between him and Snow.

His heart rate quickened and his mouth went dry from the uncomfortable realization that _he_ had to do something to salvage the situation. As much as he would have preferred just helping Serah on his own, he could tell it meant a lot to her to have the others involved.

"Hey guys," Noel forced himself to say, fighting against his desire to just give up and leave. "Serah made some soup at our house. If you want, you can come over and taste it."

"Noel?" Serah questioned, lifting her head in surprise. They'd eaten all the soup this afternoon.

A barking laugh echoed along the beach as Snow shook his head in amusement. "Soup? Don't ya think you're taking this a little too far?" Again, his tone was derisive and challenging. "Right Sazh?"

Truthfully, it did sound pretty outlandish. However, Sazh didn't want to get involved in their argument. "Well…" he said, trailing off and rubbing his chin.

"Listen," Noel continued, his voice getting louder as his conviction became stronger. "I don't care if you think I'm weird or crazy or whatever. Serah says she's happy we got together and that she doesn't want us to forget her."

The crackling of the fire seemed louder as the other men were shocked into silence again. It had been a long time since they'd heard Noel speak with such confidence. Noel chanced a glance at Serah and found a brilliant smile on her face. It was worth looking like a fool for that, at least.

"You can't just let it go, huh?" said Snow bitterly, kicking sand into the fire. "Well, I've had enough of this. I'm outta here." With that, he turned and started walking back to the NORA house.

Everyone watched him go, unsure of what to do next.

As if sensing their indecision, Snow called behind his back, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."

* * *

Back at home, Noel lounged on his bed moodily. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Serah play with a Carbuncle figurine, wondering if she was the real Serah. When she'd first appeared to him, she hadn't asked about Snow or Lightning. She didn't demand him to relay messages to anyone. She didn't complain about being dead. Every step of the way, she'd encouraged him to break out of his shell. And when he'd told her off, she'd found her way back to him again. _Why me?_ he wondered. _Why didn't she appear to Snow?_

The 'Serah' that Snow saw was a fake, Noel knew it. There was no way she'd have such conflicting feelings – both wanting her friends to grant her wish and then insisting she didn't want them to fuss over her. As much as he wanted to criticize Snow for being delusional, he didn't have much ground to stand on. '_Soup'?_ he agonized, remembering his shining moment. _That was my great idea?_ Even still, no matter how stupid he made himself look, he couldn't just watch as Serah's heart broke._ There must be something wrong with me._

He clutched his pillow tighter as he remembered the ride home with Hope.

"_You saw Serah, right?" Hope asked over his shoulder to Noel, while calmly piloting the velocycle. _

"_Well…"_

"_You liked her, didn't you?"_

_As much as Noel wanted to assume Hope meant 'like as a friend', there was no ambiguity in his tone. _

"_Liked her so much that you started seeing things that weren't there?"_

"_But you agreed with me back there – how could you –were you defending me?" Noel demanded in halted speech._

_The question hung in the air for a moment. When Hope spoke again, his voice was strangled, as if the words didn't want to leave his mouth. _

"_If you really can see Serah, please treat her well. I won't pretend to understand but… please…" _

Noel remembered his last moments with Serah, their last moments together before she... It was right after they'd left Valhalla: they'd run towards a new future, together, smiling, hopeful. He'd caught her hand. It all seemed surreal in the bright sunlight. She'd turned to him and smiled, bashfully ducking her head. "Thank you," she'd said. And then… she was gone before he could say anything in response.

Hope's voice echoed in his mind_. "…Please, don't let it end the same way twice."_

I won't. _I won't!_

Again, he found his eyes drawn to the young woman in his room._ What did you think of me back then? What was I to you?_ Noel shifted uncomfortably, trying to alleviate the tension in his shoulders. Frustrated with his inability to voice his feelings, both back then and now, he chastised himself, closing his eyes tightly_. This is stupid._

* * *

The next day, he figured he'd bring Serah by the hospital to see Mog. After what happened last night, he thought she could use some cheering up. But the hospital wasn't having visitors.

Back at home, they found Hope sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hey Noel," Hope said in greeting, gesturing with his cup of coffee that he wanted him to sit down.

"Why are you here?" Noel asked curiously, taking a seat across from his friend.

Hope chuckled. "Isn't this a role reversal? I could ask _you_ why you _weren't_ home," he shook his silver hair. "But I won't… I was thinking about what we talked about last night."

Noel held his breath, unsure which conversation he was referring to, hoping he wouldn't want to discuss _that_ front of Serah.

"We agreed that Serah might have wanted to bring Lightning out of crystal stasis."

Noel exhaled, relieved. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, I think we should head over to her crystal in Valhalla to get a better idea of what we're trying to do."

The idea struck Noel as odd. He knew for a fact that Hope visited Lightning's crystal statue on a weekly, if not daily, basis. If anyone was an expert on crystal stasis, it would be Hope. So why did he want to bring him along for the ride? However, Serah seemed really excited to go. There was no way he was going to get out of this without visiting Lightning. Even still, he held on to his suspicions.

Etro's shrine was at the heart of Valhalla, but since the collapse of the timeline, Valhalla had merged with Academia, so getting there wasn't difficult at all. The difficult part was walking up all of the stairs – all 999 of them. On the second to last step, Hope stopped Noel quietly, gesturing ahead. There, in the shadow of the crystal throne, was Snow. It looked like he was praying.

"Did you know he was going to be here?" Noel whispered, annoyed.

Hope shrugged innocently, which only made it obvious that he'd planned this.

"Go talk to him," Hope encouraged, giving Noel a little push forward. The younger man resisted, firmly planting his feet.

"What are you up to?" Noel demanded, crossing his arms.

Hope ran a hand through his silver hair, sighing. They were both so stubborn, Snow and Noel. He knew that Snow was in more pain than he let on, but he always tried to be the 'hero'. Now, five years after losing Serah, that unreasonable need to be strong for everyone else had turned his sorrow to bitterness. That mindset clashed with Noel's, who'd wallowed in grief this whole time. They both cared deeply for Serah, but Hope knew that, even as rivals, they could still be friends. _Serah would've liked that,_ he mused. But first, they needed to deal with their feelings of loss and regret.

"This is for Serah," Hope assured, pulling out his boomerang. Without warning, he threw the weapon into the crystal chamber, aimed directly for Lightning's head.

The 'whish' of the weapon slicing through the air caught Snow's attention. He easily deflected the attack with Steelguard. Then, he turned and looked for the culprit.

"Who's there?" he shouted. "Who's cowardly enough to attack a defenseless statue?"

Hope struggled with Noel, trying to push him out into the chamber ahead. Serah tried to intervene, placing herself between the two men, pushing them apart. Hope tumbled into the chamber, falling at Snow's feet.

"Hope?!"

Hope winced, not so much in pain, but at the situation he'd orchestrated. With his face against the stone floor, he said something under his breath.

"What's that?" Snow asked, his voice a little gentler. He still saw Hope as the kid he'd promised to protect. Even though the age difference had reversed, old habits die hard.

"Why do you care?" Hope said, lifting himself up. "Lightning's a hero, isn't she?"

Snow met Hope's eyes, trying to decipher his message. "Yeah," he responded hesitantly.

"I thought you said 'Heroes never die'!"

Snow's eyes widened in fear and understanding. His face contorted with rage, but surprise was there too. He opened and closed his mouth but couldn't decide which words to say. The anger he wanted to direct at Hope was really meant for himself. He'd been the one to utter those damnable words and to Serah, no less. He stumbled backwards, into the throne, overwhelmed by self-loathing and guilt. Still, the tears wouldn't come.

"Admit it!" Hope shouted over him. "You were wrong!"

"Hope!" Noel admonished, jogging into the chamber. He'd never seen his friend act so aggressively before, and it scared him.

"Everyone dies. _Heroes_ die!" Hope's voice broke but he still continued to yell. "Unless you don't think Serah was a hero?!"

Serah watched as Snow slid his back down the ancient crystal, until he sat at the foot of the throne, hanging his head.

"What can I say?" he said softly, almost to himself. "How can I take it back?" his voice cracked as the first tear slid down his cheek. "How can I make it right?"

"…" Noel kept to the edge of the room while Serah went to Snow's side.

Hope raised his head to look at Lightning, a sad smile playing on his lips. "You can apologize."

"Serah…" Snow started, his voice thick with tears.

Serah reached for his hand. "I'm here, Snow."

"Serah was… my hero. She saved me… in so many ways. I just wanted her to be happy… I never wanted… I never thought that she'd…" his shoulders shook violently as he cried, quietly. For a while, the only sound in the large chamber was the stuttering intake of his breath.

Serah held him, caressing his back in soft circles. Closing her eyes, she kissed his forehead tenderly. "I forgive you, Snow."

When the tears relented, Noel stepped over and offered his hand to Snow. The blonde considered it for a moment, unable to move.

"Serah says she forgives you," Noel said cheerfully, his face open and honest. Snow winced, still finding it hard to believe that she was back, and that only Noel could see her.

"Idiot," he muttered. But he took the offered hand and got to his feet.

"She also says," Noel breathed menacingly into Snow's ear, "That the next time you put words in her mouth you'll get lecture from Meanie Miss Farron."

With that, he released Snow and stepped back, weary of a counter-strike.

"And be nice to Noel!" Serah added.

"I'm not going to say that," Noel whispered to her with a chuckle. He didn't want to press his luck with the NORA leader.

It looked as though they had a truce, for now.


	8. Surrounded by chaos

_**Author's Note**: As always, thanks for the reviews! XD I haven't really been working on this story much lately, but I won't leave it unfinished!_

* * *

**Chapter 8: Surrounded by chaos**

It was barely morning and, in an unusual turn of events, Noel was already wide awake. Serah watched curiously as he donned his battle attire, brushed his teeth and attempted to comb his messy locks. He jogged down the stairs to the main landing where he greeted Hope, who had been pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"'Morning," the brunette chirped, grabbing a mug from the cupboard and holding it out expectantly.

The older man fixed him with a curious glance but filled the mug, regardless.

"Good morning, Noel." Then when the teen went to take a sip he warned, "Careful, it's really…"

Noel spit out the brown liquid unceremoniously into the sink.

"Hot."

Abashedly, Noel replied, "Uh, I realize that now."

They both settled into chairs at the kitchen table. Noel added a large dollop of cream to his beverage, as well as about 4 teaspoons of sugar. Serah remained in the doorway to the kitchen, after having followed Noel's every move with an inquisitive eye.

"So you still plan to come to Academy HQ today?" Hope asked as he took a bite of his toast. He tried to act casual and uninterested, bending his head over the Chaos Readings that he had already memorized.

"Yeah, that's the plan," Noel said, glancing over at Serah quickly before bringing his attention back to his coffee. He took a sip and tried not to grimace. The bitter taste made him wonder why Hope drank this awful stuff every day.

After the men had finished their breakfast, Hope waited outside while Noel turned off the lights and locked up the house. Noel tied the leather laces of his shoes in silence, aware that Serah was waiting patiently at the front door. He hated doing this to her, but he figured it was for the best.

"Serah," he said finally, giving her attention for the first time, "You're going to have to stay here today."

"Why?" she asked, dejected by his coldness toward her this morning.

"Well, you could say it's kind of a surprise." In response to her raised eyebrow, he added, "For you."

"Oh?" her face brightened instantly.

"Yes, so just… stay in the house today, alright?"

"Yes, sir!" she responded with a salute.

With that, Noel walked out into the gloom of the city, closing the door behind him.

"What to do, what to do…" Serah mumbled to herself, pacing back into the kitchen.

* * *

Assembled in Hope's spacious office were Noel, Sazh, and Dajh on the couch and a reluctant Snow in one of the easy chairs. Hope was pacing in front of them, as if the movement was essential to gather his thoughts. After what happened yesterday in Valhalla, he'd invited them to the Academy building as neutral territory where they could discuss their plans to fulfill Serah's wish without appearing to side with either Noel or Snow.

"As you know," he started, trying to keep it simple, "Our world has been enveloped in chaos energy ever since Caius Ballad's death five years ago."

Noel and Sazh nodded, ready to learn what advances Hope had achieved. Obviously bored, Snow was fidgeting in his chair, playing with his black bandana. Hope ignored him for now, focusing his lecture on the others.

"The chaos has blotted out the sky and stopped the aging process," he said, gesturing toward Dajh who had not grown or matured at all in the past five years, despite now being 11, chronologically. "Other manifestations of chaos are the random alterations of matter and the disease known as Chaos Disorder, where the patient's sense of reality becomes warped and they are slowly driven insane. It seems that the source of the chaos is the Unseen Realm itself, which has merged with our dimension. This is why places such as Valhalla, Serendipity and the Coliseum have become accessible to us mortals."

"So are you sayin' that Caius' death caused the merger of dimensions?" asked Sazh pointedly.

"I don't know the exact cause, but the two events are definitely linked somehow."

"What can we do about it? Is there a way to fight the chaos?" demanded Noel, his desperation to help fix the world obvious in his voice.

Dajh chimed in, "Yeah, how do we fight something we can't see?"

Hope was taken aback by the child's insightful question. Because of his appearance, Hope often forgot how much Dajh had grown mentally.

"It's true that we cannot see chaos energy, per se. But I have found a way to measure it," he said retrieving a wand-like device from his satchel. "The Chaos Readings I can detect with this device indicate that the levels of chaos energy have been rising steadily.

"As to fighting it, I think we can agree that the opposite of chaos is order, right?"

"Right," agreed Sazh. "Yup," added Dajh. Noel simply nodded. Snow had gotten up and was poking at the crystals of Vanille and Fang.

"Snow!" Hope yelled angrily, snapping Snow's attention back to the group. "At least pretend to be listening."

"Yeah, yeah," he responded lazily, returning to his chair. "I heard you. Let's make order from the chaos." Then he rolled his eyes with a grin. "How should we start? By picking up garbage? Sweeping the streets? Painting your house maybe? Hmm?"

The Director of the Academy shot him with the full force of his laser glare.

"Well, that's what you want, isn't it? How else do you harness "order"? It's not like a spell or a weapon you can wield."

The others gaped at Snow. His attitude aside, he'd actually said something relevant to the conversation. Additionally, he was right. Order could only be brought about through hard work and, as strange as it sounds, by cleaning and organization – though they were talking about a scale millions of times larger than simple house chores.

Noel considered Snow's words a moment.

"What about the Fal'Cie? They're still around, aren't they?"

"Of course," Hope replied quickly, wanting to distance himself from Snow's comments.

"Couldn't they help us?"

"Dammit, Noel!" Snow shouted, launching himself to his feet and bearing down on the brunette. "What the hell do you think I've been doing for the last five years? I'm sick of all your bullshit. You waltz back into our lives after five years of feeling sorry for yourself and then think that you can do better than us, the people who've never given up on setting things right?"

Though Sazh and Hope moved in to restrain him, Snow shrugged off their interfering limbs but didn't make a single violent move against Noel. He didn't need to. His words cut deeper than any sword could.

Noel covered his face with his hands. It was hard to be called out for what he was - a coward. But, this wasn't about him anymore. He slid his hands up and into his hair with an exasperated sigh. He wouldn't let his own feelings of inadequacy dominate his life again.

"You're right. I wasn't there when things got tough. I'm sorry," Noel looked up at Snow, but the blonde had turned his back to him. "But I can't help you now unless I know the whole story. So please, explain it to me."

At first Noel figured the truce was over, that Snow would storm out of the building on his righteous high-horse. This time, Noel found himself thinking that he'd chase after him, if need be. As unintentional as it had been, it was Noel that had overstepped his bounds. With the lofty goal of saving the world, he couldn't afford to lose someone like Snow to a simple misunderstanding. Noel needed all the help he could get. But Snow surprised him for the second time that day by returning to his seat calmly and recounting his efforts since the day the crystal pillar broke.

It turns out that Snow had been looking for the Fal'Cie in hopes that they could do something about the chaos. On his "scouting missions" he'd travelled across Gran Pulse, at first accompanied by his friends that made up the NORA gang, but more recently he'd shouldered the burden alone. The shift in responsibility came after Maqui had contracted Chaos Disorder during a mission to find Bismark in the Sulyya Springs. After they'd returned and admitted Maqui to the hospital, Snow urged Lebreau and Yuj to stay by their friend's side. Gadot and Snow split the missions between themselves, their thick skin (_and probably thicker skulls_, thought Noel) protected them from the disease. So far, the Fal'Cie eluded them both, and could no longer be found in their usual domains.

"Alright, thanks Snow," said Noel sincerely, "I guess it's a little easier said than done."

Snow snorted, but his eyes no longer held animosity.

Though both Hope and Sazh listened respectfully to Snow's account, Dajh had been walking around the office, full of nervous energy. Now that Snow had finished, the young boy returned to his seat.

"I thought we were going to talk about Serah!" he whined. Clearly he missed the woman that had, at one time, been his beloved teacher 'Miss Farron'. "Dad told me she wanted us to grant her wish."

Noel crouched down in front of the boy. "That's what we've been discussing this whole time."

Dajh shook his little afro. "No, you weren't. You were talking about how to save the world."

Noel nodded, a gentle smile on his face. "Exactly. Serah wished for us to save the world for her."

The boy didn't look convinced. In fact, the way he raised one skeptical eyebrow was kind of intimidating. Noel looked over his shoulder, pleading for some support.

"It seems like the most likely choice for her, given her background," Hope added helpfully. "She'd worked really hard to repair the timeline, even sacrificing herself for her cause."

"If we were talking about Serah, then why didn't you say her name at all?" Dajh countered, rather forcefully.

"Dajh!" Sazh scolded. But Noel placed a hand on the father's arm, silencing him.

"Dajh," the teen said, his midnight blue eyes grabbing the boy's attention. "Just because we don't say her name doesn't mean she isn't in our thoughts." Resisting the urge to glance over at Snow, Noel continued. "Recently, Serah appeared to me, and told me about her wish. But before that, she'd followed me around in my mind. Every minute of every day she's been there, in every action we make and even in those we don't," then Noel added, upon remembering the danger of assumptions. "Of course, I can't speak for the others, but that's how it was for me."

"I see her all the time," Dajh responded boldly, with an arrogant sneer. "And I'm not afraid to say so, unlike some people. Right, Dad?"

Sazh chuckled at how cheeky his son had become, nodding in response. "Yes, Dajh. You're very vocal on the subject of Miss Farron."

While the others laughed, Noel couldn't help but feel like he'd had his balls handed to him by a six-year-old.

The laughter of the adults only frustrated Dajh, who thought that they were teasing _him_.

"I think you guys are stupid, anyway," he pouted, crossing his arms. "Serah wouldn't wish for something that no one could give her."

* * *

Back at home, Noel and Hope found their kitchen in complete disarray. The counters were covered in stains, there was food and broken glass on the floor, and black smoke was seeping out of the oven.

"SERAH!" Noel yelled, angrily taking note of the knife marks on the countertops. He'd told her a thousand times to use cutting boards. The apparition was nowhere in sight. While Hope was busy dealing with the fire, Noel rushed upstairs.

"Serah!?" he shouted again, starting to worry. He searched the office, the bathroom and finally, his own room.

Opening the door slowly, praying that Serah was just inside, Noel held his breath. What would he do if she'd disappeared? His arrogance had gotten him in trouble once already today. Now he realized that he'd fully expected Serah to wait at home for him like a puppy, happily wagging her tail for him when he returned. His heart felt heavy with regret. It wasn't right to treat her that way, regardless of her state of mortality.

_Just let her be here_, he thought_. I'm not ready to say goodbye_.

"Serah…?" he whispered anxiously, stepping into the room.

He was immediately knocked over by a pink blur.

"Noel, you're back!" Serah squealed delightedly from her position on top of him.

"But wait…" she muttered, leaning back enough so that Noel could see her face. "Oh shoot! My chocobo pot pie!" she screamed, jumping to her feet and running down the stairs.

"It's already burnt," he called after her with a relieved chuckle. He was glad some things never change.

That evening, Hope and Noel had microwavable frozen entrees for supper.

Standing out on the balcony, Noel watched the purple clouds of chaos swirl above Academia. Usually he wouldn't risk being outside for any amount of time, because of the way the air made his skin crawl. Hope had explained the principles of Chaos Disorder, how the chaos energy enters the brain and corrupts a person's thoughts, warping their sense of reality. As the disease progresses, what happens in the mind's eye becomes so drastically different from what is actually happening to the body that the communication between the two slowly rots away. In the final stages, the person is essentially paralyzed, blind and deaf to the world around them. Over the last few days, Noel had ventured out more than he ever had in years and, surprisingly, he felt less paranoia than before.

It struck him as odd that being indoors had _any_ effect on a force as powerful as chaos energy. If all they needed was a roof and walls to keep the chaos out, why didn't they just seal off the city? Maybe build a giant dome. Aware how silly the idea was, something about it nagged at Noel, his brain refusing to let it go. Then there was Mog, who was supposed to be extra sensitive to chaos, saved by a plexiglass cage. What was chaos anyway?

Joining him out on the balcony, Serah perched herself on the railing.

Another idea gnawed at the back of his mind, but he vehemently ignored it. _What if she…?_ No. _Don't think it._

"Hey, be careful," Noel said, eyeing her position wearily.

Serah ignored him, breathing in a whiff of night air. "Noel," she said looking up into the darkness, "Where did the sun go?"

Smiling inwardly at the childish innocence of her question, he responded, "I think it's still out there, we just can't see it right now."

"Because of the chaos?"

Noel nodded thoughtfully.

With Serah around, the night didn't seem quite as desolate as it had. A comfortable silence fell over them. In the last few days, nothing had changed in the city where he lived but everything was different. Leaving the house, talking to friends, making plans… he felt _useful_ again. Despite all the misery he felt for his role in causing the apocalypse, he was realizing that there were things he could do to help mend the state of the world. He figured he had Serah to thank.

For the hundredth time, he ran through the plan in his mind. It had been Dajh's words that convinced him.

"_Serah wouldn't wish for something that no one could give her."_

Soon enough, he'd find the words. He just needed a little more time.

* * *

_Author's shameless self-endorsement:_

_In the time between chapters maybe you'd like to check out my other stories? My main one right now is "Moving on...Without You" (Noerah). Or maybe you'd be interested in the newest additions, which I've been calling the Synthetica story arc, a series of one-shots based on the album Synthetica by Metric. You can find those in the FF13 section. They are a little darker and are written in an alternate universe, but I think they are some of my best writing on this site. That is all, thanks for reading! XD_


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